We've Come to Recognize

"When we know how shame feels, we have an important resilience tool. Often, we feel shame before we think it. Recognizing our shame allows us to find the space we need to process the experience and gain some clarity before we act our or shut down." -- Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW

Our goal in sharing our physical reactions to shame with you has two purposes here. We hope that you will realize that no two people share the same reaction to shame, and that it is essential part to developing your shame resilience.

We did this exercise in our class, and here is how we responded.

Israel:
I physically feel shame in my shoulders.
My shame symptoms include shaking.
I know I'm in shame when I feel blank.
If I could taste shame, it would taste like nothing.
If I could smell shame, it would smell like the stench from the paper factory.
If I could touch shame, it would feel like slime.

Ashley:
I physically feel shame in my heart, hands, and face.
My shame symptoms include fidgeting, sweaty hands and feet, anxiety, a headache, and nausea.
I know I'm in shame when I feel judged.
If I could taste shame, it would taste like dirt.
If I could smell shame, it would smell like sweat.
If I could touch shame, it would feel like fiberglass insulation.

Gina:
I physically feel shame in my stomach, heart, and brain.
My shame symptoms include nausea, increased heart rate, crying, headaches, and a heavy chest.
I know I'm in shame when I feel like hiding.
If I could taste shame, it would taste bitter.
If I could smell shame, it would smell musty.
If I could touch shame, it would feel like thorns.

Josh:
I physically feel shame in my stomach and head.
My shame symptoms include nausea, lack of appetite, a headache, a heavy head, exhaustion, lack of motivation, reduced social contact.
I know I'm in shame when I feel detached from everything.
If I could taste shame, it would taste like peach.
If I could smell shame, it would smell like peach.
If I could touch shame, it would feel like biting down on a paper towel or napkin.

Allison:
I physically feel shame in my heart and stomach, and through my extremities.
My shame symptoms include my heart sinking into my chest, my stomach starts turning upside down, and my body gets the chilled, and sometimes shaky.
I know I'm in shame when I feel flustered, disoriented, and speechless.
If I could taste shame, it would taste like licorice.
If I could smell shame, it would smell like a dusty, dark attic (sort of musty and murky).
If I could touch shame it would feel like an old cobweb.


The first step to resisting shame is to recognize it.
What does shame feel like to you?