Emotion in Art

The expression of emotion through art can be incredibly powerful.
Today, we'd like to share with you a piece we found that speaks very powerfully about the rollercoaster of emotions experienced within the GLBT Community.

Vincent's Tears (1995) by KEO of Seattle, Washington
"Using the bold, bright colors of the rainbow, symbolizing my freedom, my choice, I cover the canvas with compelling imagery. My aim is to bring the seer closer to their own emotions and the discovery of their own freedom. My art is an expression of my passion, love, frustration, confusion, pride, shame, ecstasy..."

Three words...
Thought-provoking. Insightful. Beautiful.



Note: This artwork and accompanying quotation was obtained from the Gay Art Gallery. (We chose not to link directly to this site, as it contains some explicit content, but please, feel free to visit it on your own!)

A Voice from Working with the GLBT Community

Keville Ware, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker at Montrose Counseling Center, joined us for a discussion about the shame experienced in the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Community, and the effects of those experiences on individuals.

Ware has been working with the GLBT Community in the Houston area since 1992; hence, we were eager to get his thoughts on this important issue. We asked him questions based on his professional experience...this post is a feature of some of the major highlights of our discussion.

Throughout the process of creating this blog, it became evident to us that shame is a major issue within the GLBT Community. In speaking with Mr. Ware we discovered that not only is shame as a core problem for the individuals of this Community, but that many of his clients experience depression, negative self-talk, feelings of worthlessness, and cycles of self-medicating as a result of their shame experience(s).

Ware specializes in working with gay men who have tested HIV+. We were curious if the shame experiences of HIV+ homosexuals were different than those of HIV+ heterosexuals. We got a resounding “YES.” Ware discussed how society attaches greater stigma to HIV+ homosexuals than HIV+ heterosexuals. The straight community treats the HIV+ gay community differently. In addition, the non-HIV+ gay community also treats the HIV+ gay community differently. Being outcast by your own community can be very shaming…for anyone!

Although any given individual processes and deals with shame in a different way, we thought it was important for future social workers to be aware of some of the most common consequences of shame are in the GLBT Community.

Based on his professional experience, Ware identified high rates of depression, substance abuse, sexual addiction, relationship struggles, body image disorders, anxiety, eating disorders, and symptoms of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) as the most prominent issues that social workers would encounter in relation to shame. Another problematic situation is when clients present with the “if society says I’m wrong then I am wrong” mentality...that is internalized homophobia. Ware also identified perfectionism as a means to compensate for experiencing shame.

So, what triggers shame for the GLBT Community? Like anyone from any background and community, there are no universal shame triggers for each gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender individual. Each person is unique (no, they are NOT all the same because they are gay), and therefore, they have their own set of shame triggers.

Ware described politics as a major shame trigger for the GLBT Community. For example, the highly publicized political campaigns to promote to promote policies, such as "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" and the illegalization of gay marriage. These policies serve as discrimination which isolate and belittle gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender individuals. The more difficult aspect of these political campaigns is not that they initiate shame, but that they constantly reinforce shame, making it difficult for healing and, as Ware stated, recovering from shame.

On a different note, Ware noted that there are major life stressors that also trigger shame for some, such as losing a job, aging, loss of an important relationship, testing HIV+, and life rejections.

In society today, shame is a taboo talk – it lives in silence, it breeds in silence, and it can be destructive in silence. Obviously, there is a certain discomfort that evolves through discussing a dark, taboo topic. Let’s face it...it’s not your typical conversation starter! Ware described the importance of psycho-education to explain shame to struggling clients.

An important aspect of Ware’s psycho-educational program involves implementing the Shame Resilience Model of Dr. Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW. He describes this model as being useful in helping clients to recognize thoughts and feelings that surround the emotion of shame. Ware often utilizes the term “mindfulness,” which he describes as a combination term encompassing the concepts of shame, learning positive self-talk, and becoming resilient.

As the discussion progressed, the issue of “Gay Pride” came up. One would think that having pride in your culture would (or could) minimize the shame associated with being a part of that culture. However, Ware offered a different spin on the idea of pride and what he believes may be that actual result of "Gay Pride." He discussed “Gay Pride” being detrimental to the GLBT Community in the sense that it only focused on being proud of one’s sexuality and not acknowledging the collective pain and suffering of growing up gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender in a straight world.

Ware acknowledged that while being able to celebrate is important, the community also needs to stop ignoring the negative feelings (like shame) that are ever present. The GLBT Community needs to address the idea that it’s okay to have shame, but it’s also okay to feel pride in embracing who you are. For example, Ware suggested that part of “Gay Pride” should be holding a candlelight vigil to mourn the shame felt within the Community.

Since one of the goals of our blog is to educate future social workers and other helping professionals to understand the shame of the GLBT Community, and how to effectively work with them by building cultural competency, increasing empathy, and increasing compassion, we felt it was appropriate to ask the “advice” question. What better way to be advised on how to work with the GLBT Community than from a seasoned professional? Ware believes that part of working within this community is walking with individuals on a journey of self-acceptance, which involves being uncomfortable. Learning about sexuality is essential to do this work.

Ware recommended a book by Joe Kort entitled Covert Sexual Abuse of the Gay Male Culture for any future social worker wishing to work with this particular population. In addition, any other reading material (book, or journal articles) that discusses the phenomenon of internalized homophobia, oppression, and trauma of the psyche due to shame can be helpful.

Ware described that many times individuals of the GLBT Community will begin to develop their own form of internalizing homophobia due to the oppressive experiences of living in a heterosexist/homophobic society. This is something that social workers need to be mindful of to help these clients navigate a difficult path. Social workers also need to weary the phenomenon of counter-transference, where the social worker develops their own homophobia and internalized hatred by vicariously experiencing the same issue as the clients. Perhaps having your own therapist is helpful!

To conclude, Ware made a beautiful point that is the heart of being a social worker – and, in fact, it should be the heart of being human. To work with, to relate to, and to live in harmony with the GLBT Community, it is unquestionable that there must be empathy, there must be understanding, there must be a respect for diversity, and there must be compassion. You do not necessarily have to know what it is like to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender, but you do have to know what it is like to experience shame and what is would feel like to bring that to light as a client. That is how empathy and compassion for the unknown begins to develop.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank Keville Ware for his time and willingness to discuss shame with us. It was a valuable learning experience for us all, and it is our hope that it will be a learning experience for you all.
Thank you.

A Voice in the Transgender Community

We had the pleasure of interviewing Josephine Tittsworth, a social worker in the field of mental health and the Transgender Community. Josephine is on the Board of Directors of the National Transgender Advocacy Coalition (NTAC) and Parents and Families of Lesbians And Gays (PLFAG) - Transgender Network (TNET).

This interview proved to be very insightful and informative into the shame experienced within the Transgender Community.

One of the most powerful things Josephine offered to us was this saying, "The GLB Community faces shame, but they do not have to identify their sexual orientation; the shame in the Transgender Community is stronger because they have to identify their sexual orientation."

This resounded with us because if you see a transgendered man, you automatically assume they like women, and if you see a transgendered woman, you automatically assume they like men...what we learned...that is not always the case!!



Many thanks to Josephine for meeting with us and providing us with such an insightful and interesting interview!

The following document, provided by Josephine, is an umbrella chart showing the overall term of "transgender" and all of the different types of people who fall under its general heading.

Transgender Umbrella Chart - Upload a Document to Scribd

Read this document on Scribd: Transgender Umbrella Chart

For more information on the Transgender Community, please read some of the articles that Josephine has published. They include:

1. Tittsworth, J., Erich, S., & Kanenberg, H. (2008). Foster care: Transgender youth. National Association of Social Workers Specialty Practice Sections Newsletter.
2. Erich, S., Boutté-Queen, N., Donnelly, S., & Tittsworth, J. (2007). Social work education: Implications for working with the transgender community. Journal of Baccalaureate Social Work, 12(2), 42-52.
3. Erich, S., Tittsworth, J., Dykes, J., & Cabusas, C. (in press). Family relationships and their correlations with transexual well being. Journal of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Family Studies.
4. Erich, S., Donnelly, S., & Tittsworth, J. (2006). Passages: From feeling woman to being woman. In Messinger, Lori & Morrow, Deana F. (Eds), Case studies on sexual orientation & gender expression in social work practice (pp. 3-6). New York: Columbia University Press.

Giving Shame a Voice: Sam

This is the fifth edition of our Giving Shame a Voice series.

Read, and learn.

We hope this brings you one step closer to understanding the shame experienced in the GLBT Community, and an even larger step closer to developing empathy and compassion for them.


1. When did you first know that you were gay?

Well, it was not until I was 19 that I began to understand my feelings toward women. But, I truly understood exactly what was going on with me. I could probably take you all the way back to first grade though...it was pretty apparent.

2. Have you ever felt shame? Describe it.
3. When, and how, did you become aware that you were experiencing shame?

During the summer my parents made me get a job when I turned 16. I had the best job ever, I lifeguarded at a water-park and I worked there for four years during the summer and every year that I worked there I was promoted. Well, the very last year that I worked there was my first year back from The Citadel (I went to school there my first few years of college) and I was promoted to a park manager. I was unfortunately fired at the end of the summer for something that I did not do and I honestly think it was because I was dating a girl.

After I returned from The Citadel after my second year, I started working for a seafood restaurant. I completely hid from everybody that I was gay because I did not want to be known as the lesbian bartender and wanted to be known as just me. I did not even tell my best friend and I would date boys so people would quit asking questions. I hid under this wall of shame for over a year. The second I finally decided to come out and stop hiding everything I did not want to have happen did. But, I embraced who I was. It was when I embraced who I was when I really realized I had been in shame all that time.

4. Describe a time when you felt isolated or alone in the world?

It would have to be right after my father killed himself. It did not hit me at first that he was never coming back. It took me about three months for it to finally settle in and when it did I became very depressed. It was through this state of depression that I felt very isolated and alone. He understood me more than anyone.

5. Explain a time when you weren’t comfortable with yourself. When, or how, did you get to a place where you eventually were?

When I moved to Austin a few years ago, and started working at a new place. I couldn't even believe how many other gay people worked there!! It was like home. It was an environment where you could be who you were without being judged.

6. If you could go back and see yourself at a time when you were experiencing shame and darkness, what would you say to your past self?

Well, after my dad died I could not get anyone to actually talk to me about what I was going through which is why I think I walked down the lonely and dark path that I did. If I could go back I would tell myself that everything would be okay and that I might not see it right now but with time you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is going to be a rough journey but because of what you are experiencing you will understand something that most people will never understand and you will help out so many others.

7. What stereotypes apply to the GLBT Community? Have you ever been the victim of such labels?

Truthfully, I am not entirely sure how to answer this question.

Giving Shame a Voice: Steve

This is the fourth edition of our Giving Shame a Voice series.

Read, and learn.

We hope this brings you one step closer to understanding the shame experienced in the GLBT Community, and an even larger step closer to developing empathy and compassion for them.


1. When did you first know that you were gay?

I knew I was “different” around second grade (age 8). I didn’t label myself as gay till 17.

2. Have you ever felt shame?

Not shame, more fear of people hating me. Now I am just disappointed in people who have homophobia.

3. When, and how, did you become aware that you were experiencing shame?

I never felt ashamed. I started having sexual relations with other guys my age around 14, so for me, it just sort of happened. There was nothing to feel ashamed about. It felt very natural.

4. Describe a time when you felt isolated or alone in the world?

During my teenage years when I was carrying around the weight of the world. The fear of the unknown. Not understanding the reasons for being homosexual. It usually happened at night while laying in bed.

5. Explain a time when you weren't comfortable with yourself. When, or how, did you get to a place where you eventually were?

My entire teenage years I was uncomfortable. It wasn’t until I established a friendship with a heterosexual male and he accepted my homosexuality with zero issue did I feel confident that there is nothing inferior with me (around age 19). The acceptance of my heterosexual male peers is what allowed me to become 100% confident with myself and in my sexuality.

6. If you could go back and see yourself at a time when you were experiencing shame and darkness, what would you say to your past self?

"You are a very good person with a good heart and you will always love yourself."

7. What stereotypes apply to the GLBT Community? Have you ever been the victim of such labels?

Flamboyant dress style, particular way of speaking, feminine men, butch girls.
Yes, I have been a victim of such labels. I ignore them when they happen then detox with friends afterward. Some people are ignorant and I realize they just don’t understand and aren’t worth dealing with.

Giving Shame a Voice: Annie

This is the third edition of our Giving Shame a Voice series.

Read, and learn.

We hope this brings you one step closer to understanding the shame experienced in the GLBT Community, and an even larger step closer to developing empathy and compassion for them.


1. When did you first know that you were gay?

When I was 13 and I had a crush on my friend.

2. Have you ever felt shame? Describe it.

Yes, I described it as a feeling of embarrassment.

3. When, and how, did you become aware that you were experiencing shame?

I always felt that way, but only realized it through therapy.

4. Describe a time when you felt isolated or alone in the world?

All my childhood.

5. Explain a time when you weren't comfortable with yourself. When, or how, did you get to a place where you eventually were?

All my childhood I wasn't comfortable with myself. In prison I got to a place where I actually was.

6. If you could go back and see yourself at a time when you were experiencing shame and darkness, what would you say to your past self?

There's nothing you can say...a person must go through the process of recovering from shame to heal from it

7. What stereotypes apply to the GLBT Community? Have you ever been the victim of such labels?

That we are sinners and evil perverts. Of course.

Shameful Assumptions

Being raised in a southern, middle class, white, Catholic family with all the views that tag along with that is all I had ever known. Throughout college, I was able to expand my thoughts and ideas and challenged anything I had ever been taught. I thought I was open-minded and knew exactly how the world worked. I thought that I was non-judging (I have my slip-ups) and unassuming. Once I entered the MSW program a year ago, I was definitely proved wrong.

The first few weeks of school I began to connect with one of my classmates. We were becoming friends and would sit next to each other often. One day I saw her texting a lot and looking giddy about the conversation. She was sitting pretty close to me and I thought I could make out the name of the person she was engaging in conversation.

A couple of hours later at lunch, a few new friends sat down to lunch and began diving into the realms of our personal lives. Our conversation ranged from long distance relationships to marriage to our families, and all of us were very animated and engaged, except for one. My same friend, who was texting up a storm earlier, was very quiet during lunch and eventually I came out and asked what guy she had been texting all day. My friends and I sat there when she would not tell us and guessed all the boy names we could until we had no more. Eventually, flushed and anxious, she came out and just told us HER name.

All of us at the table were completely appalled, not at the fact that our friend was a lesbian, but at the assumption we had made about her and her sexuality. I felt like I had been punched in the gut and felt ashamed that I had been so adamant about whom her “boyfriend” was. At that point she had not been ready to tell us, but because of our assumptions she was forced into revealing incredibly personal information to us.

The experience really put into perspective the kind of stereotyping and assumptions I make on a daily basis. My friend looked like me, talked like me, walked like me so I assumed she was straight like me.--Ashley

Giving Shame a Voice: Kyle

This is the second edition of our Giving Shame a Voice series.

Read, and learn.

We hope this brings you one step closer to understanding the shame experienced in the GLBT Community, and an even larger step closer to developing empathy and compassion for them.


1. When did you first know that you were gay?

I first (truly) new when I was a freshman in college. I began having doubts about my sexuality my junior and senior year in high school.

2. Have you ever felt shame? Describe it.

Shame about being gay, yes. I think most gays have felt ashamed of themselves at some point or another, even if it was just for a short period of time. I felt ashamed of being something other than what God, my family, my friends and society intended me to be, so I thought. I felt like I was not deserving of so many blessings in my life and that I was having feelings that went against what the Church and my family had taught me.

3. When, and how, did you become aware that you were experiencing shame?

For me it was during my first year in college. I think it was evident when I met other gays that were my age and acted completely normal, as if they’d been gay all their life. I was not 100% comfortable and the fact that I did not act like them or “live like a gay” was a sign to me that red flagged it as something that was not acceptable. I was trying to repress the fact that I was gay. It’s something many do when they’re beginning to feel more and more attracted to the same sex.

4. Describe a time when you felt isolated or alone in the world?

Being the oldest, I had a lot of pressure. I had to absorb many of the family problems and was forced to grow up fast. I did not have anyone to turn to or talk to other than God. Although I’m surrounded by friends and a loving family, when I accepted that I was gay was another time when I felt alone. However, it was because I chose to keep this to myself for some time. As soon as I was O.K. with God and told my friends, a huge load was lifted off my back.

5. Explain a time when you weren’t comfortable with yourself. When, or how, did you get to a place where you eventually were?

This would be the first three years after I accepted I was gay. It has to do with body image. I felt I did not fit the gay image: fit, muscular, health and body conscious, fashionable, etc. By my senior year in college it all had changed.

6. If you could go back and see yourself at a time when you were experiencing shame and darkness, what would you say to your past self?

Hey buddy, it’s completely OK. This is who you are and there is no need to try to change it. You are yourself, and nothing is wrong with you. God made you this way. You’re a good person. Now get up and go be yourself and share your love with everyone.

7. What stereotypes apply to the GLBT Community? Have you ever been the victim of such labels?

Good and bad stereotypes: Promiscuous, polygamous, dirty, HIV/AIDS, freaks, suicidal, depressed, go against God’s will, fashionable, have good jobs, earn good income, vain, self-conscious, like to party/drugs, travel, cultured, high maintenance, smart, ambitious, etc…

A Lifetime in My Flip-Flops

Imagine walking down a busy street in the middle of New York City, holding hands with someone of the same gender you are, and people turning their heads only to look at you with complete disgust.

Imagine being at a cocktail party with your co-workers and being asked, “So, are you seeing anyone?” and being afraid to tell them, “Yes, I am, and her name is…” because you are terrified of hearing the “gasps,” the “ohs,”, and the “ahs.” Or speaking up and having everyone look at you differently, and treat you differently just because you aren’t just like them and you know longer belong in “their world.” Then, the next day, you go into work, and instead of standing at the coffee pot and partaking in the morning gossip, you are painfully aware that you are punch line.

Imagine seeing your family once a year, and the first thing out of their mouths is “Oh, you’re still single. When are you going to get married?” and you just sit there and give an awkward giggle. But, what you really want to fire back with is “I’m a lesbian, and I can’t get married because you voted in favor of the ban on gay marriage!”

Imagine losing your closest friends because you don't walk their walk and talk their talk. You just want to scream, "No, I am not going to steal your girlfriend!" or "No, I'm not going to hit on you!" And, "Yes, I love chick-flicks, shopping for fashionable finds, and wearing dresses." You want to say to them "I just don't understand why you think I am that different from you, God made me uniquely and special, just like you!" But, you don't because they've already turned around and walked away, only to leave you in tears.

Well, I’m a lesbian. And, that’s my shame.
Speaking those words is painful. “Coming out” is often painful for me.
It puts a pit in my stomach, sends chills up my spine, and sinks my heart into my chest.

My shame is being different.
My shame is hiding who I am to live up to everyone else’s expectations and perceptions.
My shame is sitting in silence.
My shame is speaking the truth about myself and not being heard or respected.
My shame is not belonging.
My shame is living in fear of being less than in the eye’s of those around me.
My shame is being uncomfortable in my own skin.
My shame is being in a room where others are more uncomfortable with me.
My shame is a fear of rejection.

Please do not add fuel to the fire of my shame.
I do not need your ignorance.
I do not need your hatred.
I do not need your approval.
I do not need your disapproval.
I do not need your ridicule.
I do not need your harsh judgment.
I do not need your criticism.
But most of all, I do not need you to know exactly how I feel and what it means to be me. Because, let's face it, unless you've lived a lifetime in my flip-flops, you never will.

I need your acceptance.
I need your love.
I need your compassion.
I need your friendship.
I need your understanding.
I need your fair judgment.
I need your support.
I need you respect.
I need your listening ear.
But most of all, I need you.

My sexuality does not change who I am.
Remember, I am still "the same old" me.

Today, I am being true to myself and being vulnerable to your judgment.
Speaking shame with these simple words has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
On the flip side, it has been the most beautiful thing I’ve ever done.
This has been an incredible part of my journey of embracing and accepting who I am.
And, even more so, it has been a life-changing moment in “coming out” of my shame.
Learn from me. Use my life, my experiences, my words to increase your empathy and compassion for my community.

From the depths of my heart, thank you for being a part of my journey.
--- Allison

Giving Shame a Voice: Ben

This is the first edition of our Giving Shame a Voice series.

Read, and learn.

We hope this brings you one step closer to understanding the shame experienced in the GLBT Community, and an even larger step closer to developing empathy and compassion for them.


1. When did you first know that you were gay?

I can remember when I was about 8 years old; imagining that my teddy bear was a male and hugging it very tight. I first realized I was homosexual when I was about 15 and I tried to search for naked men on the internet and got caught by my mother.

2. Have you ever felt shame? Describe it.

I felt shame once when I was walking with my other homosexual friends to a local bar, and when passing the heterosexual bars I felt humiliated and shamed like I was a minority and was not able to express myself.

3. When, and how, did you become aware that you were experiencing shame?

I became aware that I was experiencing shame when I began to walk faster like I was not a part of the homosexual group I was with.

4. Describe a time when you felt isolated or alone in the world?

When I came home one night to my ex-boyfriend vandalizing my apartment and breaking all of my things. I felt isolated and alone.

5. Explain a time when you weren’t comfortable with yourself. When, or how, did you get to a place where you eventually were?

In high school I often shied away because I knew I was attracted to the same sex, but I could not express myself openly about it with anyone. Because I held in the frustration with being closeted, when I turned 18 and graduated from high school I often went to the homosexual bars to meet others, and I got a tattoo to show my freedom and independence.

6. If you could go back and see yourself at a time when you were experiencing shame and darkness, what would you say to your past self?

If I can go back and see myself when I was experiencing shame, I would tell myself that I can and will get through the darkness, and that I will eventually gain confidence and begin to know myself better as I age and mature.

7. What stereotypes apply to the GLBT Community? Have you ever been the victim of such labels?

Gay males are feminine, GLBT have HIV/AIDS, every GLBT has some sort of bug, party animals, sinners, and homosexual males do not know how to accomplish any male oriented work. I often feel the strongest labels and stereotypes come from heterosexuals that I don’t know, mostly heterosexual males.

Giving Shame a Voice

We thought, how can we provide you with information to help you understand shame in the GLBT Community?

We decided to create this series, Giving Shame a Voice, to give you insight into the shame experienced by gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. Throughout this blog, you will find postings that feature a different individual reaching out and speaking shame.

The questions we posed include:

1. When did you first know that you were gay?
2. Have you ever felt shame? Describe it.
3. When, and how, did you become aware that you were experiencing shame?
4. Describe a time when you felt isolated or alone in the world?
5. Explain a time when you weren't comfortable with yourself. When, or how, did you get to a place where you eventually were?
6. If you could go back and see yourself at a time when you were experiencing shame and darkness, what would you say to your past self?
7. What stereotypes apply to the GLBT Community? Have you ever been victim of such labels?

We instantly loved the idea of creating this blog series! We were aware that no two people experience shame in the same way, nor express shame in the way same, so the thought of being able to offer several perspectives and viewpoints made us very excited!

Please follow this series, and be mindful and respectful with your comments, as they are the real words of real people!


Note: We obtained permission from our interviewees to post their responses on this blog for educational purposes, but we have changed the names on each posting to respect their right to privacy. We thank them for their participation.

Holding Hands: Shame and Silence

"Silence breeds shame every bit as much as shame breeds further silence."
--- Kaufman and Raphael (1997)


When we read this quote, it struck a chord in us about how those of the GLBT Community choose to, and are almost forced to, conduct their lives in order to feel safe in the world. We immediately wanted to share our thoughts and views about what these words mean to us. We hope it inspires you to do the same.

The relationship between silence and shame is one of give and take. If you give silence the chance to live, shame will walk in the open door and move right in with it. Once inside, it will be strengthened by the power of the silence and grow more confident. The two will continue to feed off of each other in an endless cycle. If we want shame to weaken, we must break the silence and be able to speak it an let it know it has no power here. --JOSH

If you are not allowed to be honest and speak to yourself and others, there is no way you can get out of the cycle of being uncomfortable in your own skin.
--Israel

There is a cyclical relationship between shame and silence. When the world refuses to discuss the shameful issues of all the world's people, all the world's people feel it is unacceptable to discuss their personal shame. When all the world's people refuse to discuss their personal shame, the world experiences darkness and disconnection. Unsilencing all the shame in the world and in our lives is the key to ending isolation and fear, and facilitating compassion and connection. --Allison

The more we need to talk about something, the harder it is to talk about it and therefore it doesn’t get done…so whatever the issue is…it just gets worse and worse. Often times, the gay community is forced to remain silent about their personal lives and dwell in the discriminatory labels created by society, thus, the gay community is never heard. --Gina

The silencing of shame has led us to think that nobody else in the world has shame; therefore, we are ashamed to admit that we really do have shame! Our levels of shame drive us into further silence, and thus, drive us all into further shame. --Ashley